The van started shaking.
Leila: "Uh, guys? I think I should pull over, the shaking is getting worse."
Joey: "Just speed up! It will get better."
Leila: "I really think we should pull over."
BAM!!
Leila: "SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT!!"
At 70 MPH, I was sure we were about to die. I struggled to control the van and at LEAST keep it in the outside lane that we were in, without crashing into the other cars on the busy road. It felt like it went up on two tires at one point, and I was positive we were going over. After what felt like several minutes, but was probably more like 4.5 seconds, of swerving all over the road, I got control of the van and pulled it over into the median.
We all piled out of the van in shock to go assess the damage. The tread on the rear driver's side tire was gone and there was fluid gushing out of two broken and bent tubes behind the wheel well. Lovely. Rob looked at me, hugged me and said "Thank you so much for not letting us die!" or something to that effect.
Our first thought was that the leaking fluid was the brake lines, but the fluid was clear so our sidekick, roadie and drum-tech, Robbie Jones, opened the hood and found the problem - there was NO radiator fluid left. We snapped the radiator lines to the back of the van. That meant there was no limping it to the next exit to try to get it to an auto parts store. We were about an hour from the venue and THOUGHT we were going to be on time for load in at 6pm. So much for that idea.
The good news? After our LAST lovely trip through the Pocono's (See this Blog Post) Joe Culotti's mother had the good sense to get him AAA Platinum for Christmas. I made the call to the venue and JC made the call to AAA. While we waited for the tow truck to arrive, Joey whipped out his guitar and started playing on the median, and Rob whipped out a 6 hour old subway sandwich. Yeah, we were in the MIDDLE of the highway, not on the outer edge. It's amazing how many people (especially truckers) beep, smile and wave at you when you're stuck on the median in PA, then don't stop to see if you're ok. A COP even passed us and just kept on going. Shocker. Rob and I walked up the road for what seemed like 2-3/10 of a mile to see where the blow out happened. The swerve marks were scary.
After awhile we got a phone call from the Towing company - he didn't have any flatbeds, so we had to call AAA back. WOW. When you tell an agent that you're in a loaded 15 passenger van, why would she send you to a towing company that had no flatbeds?
While Joe C made call #2 to AAA, Joey and Rob decided to walk down to the next exit where there was an auto parts store and see if they could get the clamp that would fix the two broken radiator hoses. Rob mentioned that he thought the sandwich might have been a bad idea, his stomach wasn't feeling so hot. We watched them walk away and a mini van pulled over to pick them up! Nate yelled, "Someone get that license plate number in case they get kidnapped!" Shortly after that, the flatbed arrived.
We got a call from Joey, and it turned out that the people that picked Joey and Rob up were on their way to a vehicle repair shop/ used car dealer to drop off the van they were driving. It baffles me that we can be so lucky in an unlucky situation. We had the tow truck driver take us to Capri Auto Works. The owner said it would be about an hour, and told us about a place with AWESOME food (cheap - which translates really well for us) called Stahley's - He was right, the food was good. Rob didn't eat - his stomach was bothering him and he couldn't handle food.
On our way back to Capri, Rob started projectile vomiting on the lawn of a church. Leave it to the church people to have a sign on the lawn (that he was puking next to) that said "God is never too busy to hear you". Everyone within a hundred mile radius could hear Rob - he yells when he pukes. $140 later (thanks to our major investor/ friend/ supporter - John Sheldon), with the new tire mounted and the radiator lines (actually AC and Heat lines to the back unit) fixed, we were back on the road with NO time to spare. I called the venue and let them know that our ETA was 20 minutes before we were slotted to hit the stage.
When we arrived at The Legendary Dobbs, Rob had to jump out of the van around the corner from the venue and vomit on the street. I told him we didn't have to play, and he refused to let puking stop him. We hit the stage right on time with the guys from Scarlet Carson (awesome dudes, by the way) cheering Rob on while he puked into a bucket off the side of the stage and didn't miss a note. Not. One. Note. Rob earned MVP for this one.
About 1/2 way through our set, someone in the back of the room started going into fits, paramedics arrived and told us we had to stop playing so they could talk to the guy and cart him out. We thought he had a heart attack or something. It turns out that he was the bass player from Scarlet Carson's cousin. Nice. We finished our set, and Rob stepped outside to continue puking in the back alley. I'm pretty sure the Scarlet Carson guys have it on film. I'd like to see it. HAHA!
After that, we left, drove overnight and slept in the van in the parking lot of a FANTASTIC studio in Hopatcong, New Jersey called The Barber Shop Studios. When we all woke up the next morning we went to grab food at a Dunkin' Donuts. While we were there a cop came in, eyeballed us all, bought a coffee and left. He circled the parking lot a few times, went around the block and drove by again. When we left to go to a gas station to grab cigarettes for our tobacco loving crew, we got pulled over.
Cop: "Are you guys in a band?"
Nate: "Yeah."
Cop: "Are there any illegal substances in this vehicle?"
Nate: "No."
Cop: "Why are you shaking?"
Nate: "Because I'm nervous. Being pulled over makes me nervous."
Cop: "Is there a reason you should be nervous?"
Nate: "No"
Cop: "Well, I pulled you over today because your muffler is puttering"
. . . Really, guy???. . . You pulled us over because there is huge picture of a pig and Brand New Sin blazoned across the tinted back windows and you were hoping to bust us for "illegal substances". We're not stupid.
After harassing us for about 15 minutes and telling us some bullshit story about a new computer system and Nate's name being attached to the van in some way (which was definitely a bullshit story), he finally let us go and we went to the studio. We hung out, met Scott Barber, the owner and head engineer, and met an amazing producer, Earl Cohen, who's worked with some pretty heavy hitters in the industry. We would love to record with him at some point in the future, but right now he's out of our budget.
To sum up the rest of our trip - We played in Atlantic City two days in a row, met a band who got pulled over AND ticketed for possession, got to be tourists for the first time while we were there, Joe C got mad, punched a parking meter and may have broken his hand, met a guy named "Slim" that really liked weed, stayed in a dive motel that made Rob's girlfriend pay $125 PLUS $20 per person over 4 for a room that was worth about $30 a night, and drove home without any other problems.
As DJ from Revel 9 so perfectly put it - "Just A Memory <definition>: The thing a van becomes after Just A Memory has a road show! - oooohhh SNAP!"
Watch our schedule - we'll see you out there!
~Leila Dean
Just A Memory
Incredible, your writing makes me feel like I was there, very well done lovely story.
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